My Story Of Hope

I'd like to share with you my personal story of hope. Psalm 40:9-10 says, "I proclaim righteousness in the great assembly; I DO NOT SEAL MY LIPS, as you know, O Lord. I DO NOT HIDE YOUR RIGHTEOUSNESS IN MY HEART; I SPEAK OF YOUR FAITHFULNESS AND SALVATION. I DO NOT CONCEAL YOUR LOVE AND YOUR TRUTH FROM THE GREAT ASSEMBLY!!!!" On April, 30, 2009, I received Jesus Christ as my Savior, and he came in and drastically changed my heart and life!! That is why I cannot and "do not seal my lips"!!!! He brought me from a life of inner chaos to a life of inner peace!! I grew up in a christian home. But for as long as I can remember, I doubted my salvation, never really being 100% sure I'd be in heaven the moment I died. There were times I thought I was a Christian, and there was a time that I knew I wasn't one and didn't want to be. No matter how many times I prayed "just in case", there was never any real change on the inside. Anyone can call themself a "Christian," but is there true repentance? Repentance is a CHANGE OF HEART. It's when stop following your own way, and turn and follow God's way. You don't become "perfect", but you strive to become more like Christ and live for HIM, not yourself. I used to think that joy, peace, contentment, and victory were just not things I could have. There were many times I felt alone, but I've now realized that God has always been with me, through good times and bad. Even if you were literally alone in the world, GOD IS THERE!! He KNOWS your pain, your burdens, your worries; he sees every tear you cry; he knows exactly how many hairs are on each head; he knew you before you were even born; he has wonderful thoughts toward you, more than you can imagine. One of my favorite scriptures is Psalm 139, where you can read about how God thinks of us. Psalm 139:17-18 says, "How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Where I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you." All of Psalm 139 is such a comfort. Even though God knows us better than anyone, he still loves us. He knows every thought we have, good or bad. He knows everything we do, right or wrong. He knows our difficulties and our joys. He knows the deepest, darkest secrets of our heart that maybe nobody else knows. He knows the good and the bad about us. And yet, he still loves us!! He's there, waiting for us with open arms! He hears our cry! Psalm 10:17 says, "You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry." He knows every tear we shed and why. Psalm 56:8 says, "Record my lament (loud mourning or wailing); list my tears on your scroll - are they not in your record?" John 3:16 talks about how much God loves us, enough to send his only Son to die for us because of our sin. Because of our sin, we deserve to die and spend eternity in hell. But God sent his Son to die IN OUR PLACE, so that we wouldn't have to. He died for us so that we can live. He did nothing wrong!! He is the only one perfect, without sin. Yet, He took the sins of the whole world upon him on the cross! And in place of that, he sees us as perfect in his Son. We all can admit we've done wrong. There's not a person on earth who can honestly say that they have never sinned. Sin is disobeying God's perfect standard. But there is hope for the sinner. I'd love to tell you more about this if you'd like to know.

God is a God of miracles, and he's definitely done miracles in my life and my family's. Even growing up in a christian home, I went through some very difficult trials in my life over the years. But I responded wrongly to my circumstances in sinful, destructive ways. I dealt with my emotional and spiritual pain by causing physical pain to myself as a release. That was the wrong way of dealing with life, not God's way. I struggled with anger & hatred, unforgiveness & bitterness; fear, eating problems, & wrong thinking. From the world's perspective, I was given no hope for change. I wasn't able to live on my own because I chose to deal with life my own way. God used a very low point in my life to show me his great love for me. A close friend encouraged me to review how God has orchestrated my life from the beginning. When I realized that God has a good plan for my life (like Jer. 29:11 says) despite all my failures, I was OVERWHELMED with his love!!!! Up to that time, I had all the "head knowledge". I knew in my head that God loved me and died for me, but it never moved me in my heart. I knew what I had to believe to be saved. I'd heard it all my life. Even though it's such a short distance from my head to my heart, until God changed my HEART, there was no power over sin. The opposite was true in my life. My SIN had power over ME! Maybe you can relate to that. It wasn't until April 30, when I completely surrendered EVERYTHING to God, that HE gave me the power to change! It was then that God gave me a "spiritual heart transplant". He took out my old heart, full of sin, and replaced it with a NEW heart!!! I'm a new person, no longer the same I was before April 30. God gave me new desires, new goals, a new way of thinking. He became my LORD, not just a name I knew of and prayed to. I now want more than anything to please HIM, to live for Him, to serve and help others. I am learning to not live by my feelings anymore, and to discipline myself toward godliness. I'm still a work in progress, but God promises in Phil. 1:6 that he will continue to do a good work in me. If I can be of any help to you, or you have any questions, please feel free to contact me. And remember, God cares about you. :o)